Consequences of Blackmail
by omgomgomgOMFG
Summary: theres nothing that intresting to summerize. yuan blackmails kratos, and he goes manic when he cant get revenge. stupid. possibley ooc. excessive cussing.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT. Dur.

A/N: ok, first fic in a billion years, and first TOS fic ever, so be nice ,o and if you flame me, I will freaking love you and dedicate a whole chapter to you 3

………….

Yuan was having a very bad day. A very, very bad day. It was one of the days after the two world's had been reunited. Wondrous to all. Except for the blue haired halfling.

"What the hell!" Yuan was even started to get pissed off. For you see, he lost his current prized possession. The one possession that held him high and mighty over his former companion known as Kratos. And if he lost it, he was freaking screwed.

"Man! Where is it?" Yuan continued throwing random clothes out of his drawrs until they were completely empty. He had considered going to the Tethe' alla base to look for it as well, but ever since the worlds were united, the two bases had miraculously ended up right next to each other. So naturally, the two were combined.

Yuan was seriously close to crying. He knew if he couldn't find his treasure soon, his ass would be kicked. Kicked so hard he'd probably never feel it again. Because if he didn't find it within the next five minutes, Kratos himself was bound to come waltzing in in all his arrogant glory, realize he'd lost it, run off to find it himself and BANG, blackmail over, and a blue haired halfling dead.

With his third drawr empty, Yuan had one other option. "Fuck! Control room!" He dropped a random pair of boxers he was about to throw across the room and ran. He ran out the door and made it about five feet down the hall, almost blind in his rush, but before he made it another foot, he ran into a large purple blockade.

"Get out of the way! HELLO. In a RUSH." He pushed the person out of his way and continued running down the hall. Or at least attempting to. The "purple blockade", also known as Kratos, had grabbed the end of his cape and looked more irritated than the time Lloyd had given him poisoned spaghetti. Of course it wasn't truly poisoned, just tasted like it to Kratos.

"So, Yuan. Where were you headed off to just now? And in such a hurry too; very unlike you."

Yuan's face paled and he stopped running in place immediately. Deciding quickly to play stupid he spun around to face Kratos with a confused look.

"What the hell Kratos? As you can see I'm trying to go somewhere very fucking important and what the hell are you doing back in your purple… Thing? I told you to clean the fucking bathroom, and indeed not in that, correct?" Yuan idly pulled his cape out of Kratos' grasp, ignoring his irritated, although slightly amused expression. "Now, for the love of Martel, get back to your work and into your clothes before I rape you of your dignity to more than just me. Now, please, I must be going."

"Yeah… Hey Yuan, whenever you get back, keep in mind I have no more reason to stay under your control. I think… I'm gonna fucking kill you."

Yuan paused in walking away. 'Fuck. He found it first. Fuckfuckfuckfuckidyfuck.'

"I made copies!" The halfling's left eye twitched violently he ran at full speed down the hall.

Kratos stared at Yuan's retreating figure. "Heh. Perhaps I shan't kill you. But I shall definitely put you through the same condescending things you put me through." The redhead glared halfheartedly at the hall Yuan had run down moments ago (he had turned some random corner apparently, for he was gone now). "Hmm… I wonder if he truly made copies…? No… I doubt that." Kratos shifted and pulled the awful photograph out of his pocket. He glared at it. How Yuan had gotten a hold of it he had no clue, but the point was he did, and he had held it high above his head for the past week. It was awful… Threatening to show his son, his friends, little small people who were miniscule, but still had a vision of who Kratos was, Yuan had managed to make the redhead to clean. For a week. Nonstop cleaning. Amongst other things, and while wearing some of the most awful things, but Kratos had decided to either block that from his memory for now, or just not think about it.

He glared at the photo again. "I seriously would like to know where he got this… I haven't been to Altamria for years… none the less spoken to those awful.. Rabbit women…"

Kratos sighed and put the picture safely away so as not to lose it as carelessly as Yuan had.

"Well, now that I am free…" He stretched idly as he said this to himself. "I should perhaps find that dress again… I certainly will not let Yuan go without wearing it as well…"Kratos almost grinned. Almost. But it came out as a sadistic and unhappy expression, instead of the smile his mind's face was wearing. ("I really need to work on my ability to smile when it's appropriate…"). So, Kratos ventured down the hall in the opposite direction Yuan had gone until he came upon one of the many bathrooms in the renegade base. The redhead glared at it's interior, something he had been doing a lot for the past week, but regardless stepped inside and picked up a pink and white bundle of clothes on the ground. He had a disgusted face, not even wanting to touch the clothing again. But, it was for the sake of revenge, so he made an acceptation.

Kratos walked back down the hall and walked into the nicer quarters in the base. It was technically Yuan's office, but for the moment Kratos decided to make it his own home.

"hmm… How shall I go about this…" Kratos sat and thought to himself. He was never truly 'violent' so he wasn't sure how he was going to be able to do this. "I could force him… but that would involve… interesting consequences… so the only option is to blackmail him as well… fuck."

Kratos was shocked at his revelation. He had nothing, after 4000 years, to blackmail Yuan with. And now, for the first time in possibly 3000 years, he was pissed. The whole week he had been looking forward to extracting his revenge. And now he realized, he could do nothing.

"… goddamn pride… goddamn Yuan…. Goddamn dress…. GODDAMNIT…" and then it happened, Kratos was sent into a manic fury, built up over his extended life time. Heads were gonna role. heads were gonna fucking role.

………..

…. A/N: I should be shot… but eh… ohk, probably a one shot, reviews are kickass, flames are awesome, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I just remembered that oO fuck….. And uh….. don't hate me too bad for the sucky crap you just read. oO

how the HELL do you spell acceptance? … THAT TIME IT DIDN'T HAVE A RED LINE… WTH?

… another question… drawr, as in a bureau, how do you spell that? Drawr, drawer, dror, too many ways and … no one spells it in a conventional way… so my brain has no definite way either… EGRH…

... another one, as in the last line, would it be roll or role...? i know ... know i dont know anything about spelling...

ready to flame?


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: dun own it yeh tards.

A/N: oh gawd. Two reviews and no flames? Im starting too feel pressured :hides In a corner: well! To Meowzy-chan and Shadowlover101, thanks MUCHO. :glomp:

…. By the way this is total crap and way ooc…. And repetitive.

……………storybeginsnowyo…………….dundundun……

"HAHAH. Ohhhh no. Yuan, you AIN'T GETTING AWAY WITH THIS SHIT. FUCK NO."

Kratos was knocking down random renegades as he stalked through the halls. This could not go unpunished. _So could not go unpunished. _Kratos almost wanted to ask _Mithos _for help. Almost. And that had resulted in him _almost_ regretting the total world regeneration. Because that meant Mithos, the sexual torture maniac, was dead (1).

Kratos suddenly grabbed a scared looking renegade. "…. Where the fuck did Yuan go?"

"uh-uhm. I'm not sure Lord Kratos! But I believe he had said something about the control room!" The soldier knew he shouldn't have given out such information. (it was obvious to everyone there was _some _conflict between the two former seraphim after all) But alas, he did anyway, all in fear.

Kratos stared blankly, his eyes dilating a bit. After a minute though he snapped to. "Yes. I_ am _your lord." He dropped the renegade and stalked off once more, this time in the direction he knew the control room to be in.

"…. Lord Yuan told us to call him and all others above us lord…" The renegade was slightly disturbed by Kratos' display. But shrugged it off, glad to be away from his company.

…..

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. Today is _NOT_ a good day…… fuck…" Yuan… was still not having a good day. He was currently hiding in his own base.How much lower could you get? "But I have no choice… Kratos is gonna kill me I know it… even if he is usually blank-faced, he can get pissed… not even pissed he goes insane…" Yuan suddenly had a "fond" memory of three thousand years ago when he and Mithos had to lock him up for a few days. "Fuuu-uuuck…." Yuan hugged his knees close to his chest. He knew he was being pathetic. And probably even over reacting. But he couldn't help it.

"Yuuuuu-an. YUuuUUuuUuuuuuu-an." The Halfling stared into the empty space in front of him.

"Oh fuck…" Yuan held his breath and tried to become as small as possible, Crushing his face in the process.

The mechanical door to the control room slid open. Yuan prayed it was anyone but who he knew it was. Someone walked in, not bothering to be quiet.

"That's intresting…" The person seemed to be getting closer to Yuan's hiding spot.

'fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck….' The Halfling had his eyes closed so tight they felt as though they would bleed. Then, a slight tugging came from his cape.

"Very… Very…. _Very interesting _…." Kratos pulled the red cloth with all his strenngh from underneath the cabinet's door.

"OW!" Yuan came tumbling out of the cabinet, and bumped his head on the floor. Kratos grinned maniacally down at him.

"Heeeee-eeeey Yuan." The Halfling stared up sacredly, but nodded in question. Kratos plopped down next to him, grinning the whole time."Ya know, I hate cleaning."

Yuan whimpered.

"And I hate the color pink. I know its close to purple, and I love purple. But I hate pink. And I hate dresses." Kratos turned toward his friend. "I hate fate too. It's really gay. I mean, all this time ive been obliging your fucking orders and bang, I cant do anything to get back at you!" Kratos laughed and Yuan could only stare. It would never be terrifying to anyone else, probably funny to those that knew Kratos…

"In fact, I was almost wishing Mithos were still alive!" Kratos grinned even more at this. "You know how much he loves torturing people!" Yuan's eyes widened. 'He's _this_ serious!... gawd I'm in trouble…'

"Well…." Kratos put a finger up to his chin. "I suppose I could rape you and such myself… hmmm… but ah. That would get messy!" The redhead grabbed Yuan into a tight embrace and giggled.

"… So uh, we're good right?" Yuan figured he'd take a chance. A retarded chance, but it was worth a shot. Kratos didn't look at him for a moment, but then turned and glared menacingly.

"Good? Yuan… how stupid are you?" His previous 'cheerful' mood returned. "I'm gonna make you regret what you did so much you'll wish you were dead!"

"Uh-" Yuan tried to reply… But Kratos dragged him off the ground and to the door.

"Now, Yuan. I think… It is fit, that you be my slave."

Yuan gulped, afraid to ask. But of course, he did anyway. "_Sex Slave!"_

"Possibly, depends how much angrier I get. But actually I was more referring to cleaning my stuff and wearing a leash. Freaking perv." Kratos was somehow still grinning, just as wide. For someone who could hold a smile so long, he should do it more often. "So! LET'S FUCKING GO, WHORE." The redhead grabbed Yuan by the wrist and ran out the door. He passed the stationed renegades again, knocking them over, again. He ran out the base and got on a rehaird, all in the course of thirty seconds.

Yuan was incredibly dizzy after all this. His body was forced from zero miles per hour to maybe fifty in less than a second (or at least it felt like it).

"So.." The Halfling resisted the sudden urge to puke. "where we going?"

"Palmacosta!"

"Palmacosta's been destroyed…."

Kratos glared. "It's been rebuilt you iggnoranus. Get on the rehaired." Yuan did as he was told, and Kratos got on behind him. "Now! OFF TO PALMACOSTA BITCHES."

"Kratos… May I have the honor of one question?"

"Well certainly, since you asked so nicely. What is it?"

"Why do you keep freaking out and screaming and adding a condescending term for women on the end of the sentence?"

"Yuan?"

"Yes?"

"_You_ are the whore."

…………………………….dundundundun……………………….

A/N: this… totally died… and that actually deserved a "totally"…..Lmfao fanfics are fun...Uh ok,

I am REALLY bad at homonyms...The things like hear and here (that's what there called right?... ya…)

So… that hopefully explains most issues of spelling and grammer.. n.n;;;

And sorry for excessive cursing… (I avoided the urge to add "and shit" to the end of that mind you. Im getting better -.-)……… XOMG I GOTTA STFU NOW

.. oH my gawd... one last thing. i WAS gonna upload this on 12/30. BUT I MISSED IT. BY EIGHT MINUTES. it was 1:08 when i wanted to upload this, and if i had tried 9 minutes earlier i woulda been fine! oh POO. -.-

… flames?

Reviews?

Total pwnage.


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